Sometimes, you have ideas in your head. Most of the time you dont, but sometimes, maybe once every few years you get something good. This idea will carry you away and enthrall you. It will become part of what drives you before taking over and becoming your sole motivation. Once this happens everything else becomes secondary to the essential means towards this end. Or is that just me?
In my world, you do what you say you will do. You might not like it, and you might regret agreeing to it in the first place but if I said I would do it you can consider it done. If I cant do it, or if I just dont want to I wont tell you I will. This seems fairly elementary and highly conducive to a productive society because if I’m not going to do it I’ll tell you I’m not going to do it which will allow you to get someone else to do it and in the end it gets done.
Providing, of course you actually want it done.
Providing, of course you dont just want to know that I’ll do it if you need me to.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
“I just wanted to know you would”
I could have fucking told you that and not spent MONTHS planning and getting things in place. But, in their infinite depth and wisdom, they guide us through birth, early life and on to handing us over into the slow, wasting demise that is the rest of our lives, with the chip chip chipping away at the undefinable thing that makes us uniquely men, chip chip chipping into marriage and through into late middle age, chip chip chipping, sculpting the once proud king of all he surveyed into the late middle aged empty husk, barren, devoid of conquest shell staring into the middle distance in countless shoe shops and lingire departments untill willfull and blissfull release into early death in one final and ultimate act of defiance, one last statement, two final fingers to the circumstances which we fooled into believing controlled us, our final breath on our own terms.
I am the master of my own destiny.
I am the ultimate arbiter in my own end.
I will be proud in the knowledge that I agreed terms with no living thing as to the means of my demise.
In this life and the next, it is ultimately I who decides.
In my life, my pain, my sorrow and my joy, in the end, it was me who had the final say in my world, my kingdom, my domain.
I will have my control.
I will have my dignity.
I will have my will.
If thats allright with yourself love….