Sauce and the Sanguiches

28 05 2008

The recovery is taking longer than anticipated. My voice has yet to return, I have yet to properly wake up during the day and that niggling feeling of disaster is clouding my haze further. But you know what? It was worth every second of it.

Cardiff is a great town in which to be a Munster man. The locals had smiles, the local publicans had bigger ones, and the local waitresses were as generous as ever with the phone numbers. Some things had changed since the same trip in 2006 though, and its not something I can put my finger on. Something about the intensity of the build up maybe, we knew we were not chasing the holy grail, it had been ours before and despite the coyness, every Munsterman there believed, without a shadow of a doubt, that this was our time. The lads did us proud. I have yet to watch the match on television but I’m sure the season will be out on DVD soon enough. I’ll be buying it and saving my pennies for Murrayfield 2009. We have in our possession the finest, most skilled, most experienced and most professional Munster squad in its proud, proud history.

Well, last weekend that history just got a little bit prouder. The delays, the shite hotel, the shite food and the shite booze all notwithstanding, we are proud to eat, sleep, drink and live Munster Rugby. They are our heroes, our ambassadors and our spokesmen. They put themselves on the line for the pride and the passion and we believe in them from start to finish. Win loose or draw, this is ours, and no one can take it away from us.

To the brave and the faithfull, nothing is impossible.


Awsome. Awsome to the MAX.

22 05 2008

The people who go to Christian rock concerts should be locked into the concert hall and fed their bibles. I have concluded thusly.

From time to time I watch the god channel. I actually find it very entertaining. See, the nature of fanatical blind faith has always been fascinating to me. For some reason I’ve been drawn to understand it. Not just religious belief, but any sort of blind group following that sees people pitched against each other based on something unobtainable. That idea that everyone isn’t perfect, but if I do what I’m told without thinking about what I’m being told to do, without questioning the reasons… I can become closer to this ideal. The idea that perfection resides in all of us, but only this ideal can realize it. And in order to approach the ideal you have to completely surrender your will to this higher power. Or rather the person who claims to represent it. To question is the ultimate heresy. To follow blindly and believe is the road to ultimate piety, and the madder the things you believe and the more extreme lengths you are willing to go to demonstrate your ability to follow and act without question the more kudos you are entitled to. You don’t get anything for it mind you, if anything you get less because you are happy to sleep on cold concrete and give your suffering up for your love of whoever you are trying to achieve perfection through.

What brought me to think about this was a concert on the god channel on Monday evening. Now, in all fairness the band were not bad. Good musicians, competent singers… they had a nice sound. They could have been any band playing anywhere to any audience. The only difference, and I’ve noticed this of most ‘inspirational’ outfits, was that they seemed to be repeating themselves constantly, saying things like “give yourself to him”, and ”you need to believe” constantly. And while they were singing this over relaxing mellow music the audience were standing there, eyes closed, hands raised and swaying from side to side as if in some sort of trance. Now its fairly obvious what’s going on here. I won’t deny anyone the right to believe what they want to. Neither will I deny them their right to believe I’m wrong about it, but when your opinion and beliefs come from these sorts of mass self hypnosis sessions with people drilling this message repeatedly into your head, then I think you need to commit the cardinal sin and think about why you believe what you do. The trouble is, no one can ever give you a good reason for their belief. It’s about faith you will be told, you will also be told that it is true because their faith tells them it is and that’s all the thinking they need to do about it, which basically boils down to this;

I’m right because I think I am.

Now, everyone thinks they are right. Which is fair enough. However, if I have a contradicting opinion to you, and we discuss it, I’m going to ask you to back up your opinion with facts and figures, then I will back up my opinion with my facts and figures. Maybe we are both half right, and our biases have swayed us in separate directions as far as the semantics are concerned, but at least we will be able to make a lucid case as to why we hold the opinions we do, and not just assume that because I ‘believe’ my opinion to be true I can claim sanctuary from criticism simply because I believe it.

In my perfect world, people have a rational basis for their thought process, but I think in reality people will always look to their hearts before their heads. We are, by definition, an emotional animal, prone to follies of the imagination and as such will always be open to influence. However, I think its time we started to open it all up to the same codes of intellectual scrutiny that we apply to everything else before we start feeding it to our children as infallible truth. If Bronze Age myths are your thing then work away with them. You’ll excuse me if I choose not to ignore 5000 years of hard work on the part of humanity to make our lives (the ones we have now) better. 

Cowen in stating the obvious shocker.

21 05 2008

Politicians are fuckers. Yes. We know. Thanks for backing us up oh exalted leader. While B’b’b’bertie dropped his head sheepishly and gave the nod to the all high cean speaker (the jabs at the races not withstanding), our new glorious leader today gave his right hand woman instructions to ‘look after those fuckers’. Deadly. I have never voted Fianna Fail in my life but you know what? Next time out, on condition that Brian Cowen continues to make life difficult for the other fuckers in the Dail, I’m joining in. Now that the builders are all bollixed and the farmers are on the verge of loosing their solid income for not doing anything, I’m jumping on the band wagon.

I have to say, I have a suppressed respect for Brian. He’s spent his entire political career being straight up. For eleven years the opposition has called for clarification on everything Bertie and have been met with stammers, half truths and circular sentences and although amusing to listen to a greying north dubliner talk for tens of minutes and say nothing at all, it all got tiresome when it became apparent that that’s all he was good at and a bout of headbutts was never going to be on the cards.

So toot on Mr Cowen. Your adoring electorate shall wait with bated breath for you to drop kick Enda Kenny in the nuts and I hereby promise to support any referendum, no matter how obtuse, if it means we get to see more blunt points being made into microphones supporting our surety in the sheer fuckeryness of your cabinet.

The king is dead. Long live the king!

Lee Marvin and Friends

19 05 2008

I’ve been reliably informed I am not Hank Marvin. I am, in fact, Lee Marvin. Whats the difference? Apparently getting it wrong makes you look like a right James Blunt altogether. Assuming, of course, you are not a complete Bob Hope and you know the Ronald De Beor.

So what does it all mean? Well, Apparently I can have an entire conversation and make no sense whatsoever. I am a fan of the proper use of the language. I apostrophe my text messages. Only where appropriate of course, but they are there as a shining example to demonstrate that U DNT AV 2 SPK LK DIS 2B FXTV. Maybe I sound like that in real life, I have a strange accent and I’m not sure where it came from, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m hungry and I was told that I was saying it wrong intentionally, and apparently my intentional wrong doing was in itself wrong thus leading me to the conclusion that there is now an accepted wrongness that has replaced what used to be considered right, so it is now safe to assume that once people have accepted the new marker as set, it is now inevitable that this right way to get it wrong will become archaic and a new marker will have to be set, thus dumbing down the dumbness even further and sending the whole thing full circle where one day it will be cool to use proper fucking grammar again.

But somehow I fear not. Somewhere, someone is now devising an even dumber method of communication. Im assuming it involves mobile phones, and Im hoping it involves shoving them down skateboard kids’ throats. But, thats probably  too much of a chicken dinner.

It’ll all end in bunny ears, unless I’m proved a dunlop tyre. But I doubt I will.