De Fued

17 04 2008

I read in the paper this morning that some former something of somewhere (mayor of limerick) has called on the media to cease referring to the ongoing hassle as the ‘Fued’ as he feels it ads some sort of an air of entrenched family passions going back generations and hints at the fact that some of the factions involved are members of the travelling community (a phrase which gives me real fucking ire, but I’ll get to that in a minute). Firstly, I have to nail my colours to the mast and say I agree. Whats going on is not a feud, its a turf war in which factions divided along the lines of what part of the city they are from are offing each other and they don’t give a shit who knows who they are. For nearly eight years now these lads have been taking potshots at each-other, some having some success, some not, and the rest of us have been going about our daily lives, reading about it in the paper but not really giving a monkeys because, when all is said and done, a scumbag in a coffin is one less to have to worry about breaking into your car or mugging you for your mobile.

Local air sacks with inflated senses of self importance offered to mediate a truce. I nearly puked. Who in their right mind would offer these lads that sort of legitimacy? Offering to broker a deal in which murderous drug dealers can sort out their patches in order to rampage with impunity? I think not. This whole state of affairs has arisen not because of social deprivation, but simply because the scumbags are not afraid of getting caught. Whats going to happen to them if they do? They get the probation act or get sent down for possession of a firearm with intent to endanger life and GBH to run concurrently which will see them back on the streets in six months putting two fingers up to the hard working Gardai who now have to go to all the effort of building a case and locking them up again. I’m not for tougher sentences as a deterrent, that’s not going to work. Criminals are not going to give up crime because its now even MORE illegal. However, I do think there is a case to be made for lobotomising repeat offenders and putting them to work sweeping the streets. I mean look around, the place is a mess. Mostly with their discarded John Player Blue packets and chewing gums. Think about it. And its not like they are in short supply. The space saved in prisons could be turned into their living quarters (same as now pretty much only they are allowed out to work outside), the money saved on the dole could be put towards nice parks for them to clean and all that space where their crappy estates used to be could be used for the parks. Its like a perfect circle really, and all it would be cheap too, as we could get student doctors looking for a bit of practice to do the lobotomy. And sure if they get it wrong… Who cares? Chances are he would have been dead by now anyway, having been offed by the competition in Garryowen. Either that or the best idea yet. Dump them all on an island with a frozen leg of lamb each and let them all battle it out to the death. Then arrest the last one left standing for robbing a load of meat.

Ah when I rule the world…





In the week that was

14 04 2008

I have a cold. I’m very bitter about it too because as far as I’m aware I’ve never had a cold before. Seriously. I’m either perfectly healthy, which in fairness is most of the time, or I cant move. I’ve never been in the in between before unless I was hungover, which doesn’t count. I’ve been hospitalised with pneumonia as a child, glandular fever, I’m sure I’m due a bout of leprosy any decade soon and sure don’t we all get a dose of the auld Death eventually. Not that I’m too bothered about that because I’m not going to know about it, I certainly wont care afterwards and there is nothing I can do about it so l don’t think about it too often.

In the meantime I’m going to sniffle my way through the day and hope a lemsip at bedtime will have me right for the morning. Or I might just take a half day and sleep the afternoon away.

Decisions decisions…